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Won by Wireless 





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Won By Wireless 

A Comedy in Three Acts 



BY 

V'' 
THOMAS LITTLEFIELD MARBLE 

Author of "THE RAIDERS," "THE HESSIAN." 
"A ROYAL RUNAWAY," etc. 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1909 






Copyright 1909 by The Penn Publishing Company 



iCLD 17448 



Won b7 Wireless 



Won by Wireless 



CHARACTERS 

William AiNSWORTH a financial magnate. 

Jack Simms a wireless operator. 

Robert Faulkner . Captain of the " Mistress Mary.^' 

Count di Lucca an Italian nobleman. 

Lady Caroline Rathbone . . Ainsworth' s daughter. 

Geraldine Ainsworth her sister. 

Kitty Lee . Geraldine' s maid. 



NOTICE TO PROFESSIONALS 

This play is published for amateur production only. Professionals 
are forbidden the use of it in any form or under any title without the 
consent of the author, who may be addressed in care of the publishers. 



ARGUMENT 

William Ainsworth, a financial magnate, finds his daugh- 
ter Geraldine, known as "Jerry," is infatuated with John 
Simms, an impecunious professor of science, whom he has 
never seen. Ainsworth takes her to sea on his yacht, which, 
in order to keep in touch with the stock market, has a wire- 
less telegraph outfit. Simms understands "wireless" and 
secures the position of operator on the yacht. Ainsworth 
tells Jerry how he intends to force down the stock of the 
Universal Electric Company, which he controls, and buy it 
in at a low figure. " But is that honorable, dad ? " " Cer- 
tainly; the strongest survives." Ainsworth wants Jerry to 
marry Count di Lucca, an Italian, also on the yacht. 
•' Why, dad, he's a joke. I'm going to fight you with your 
own weapons." 

Jerry and Simms by wireless instruct her brokers to buy 
up a controlling interest in Universal Electric. They do so. 
Ainsworth gets a message from his brokers. " Majority 
stock purchased by John Simms." "■ So, young lady, you've 
had a hand in this ! " " Yes, dad, it's the same old story ; 
the strongest survives." Ainsworth furious against Simms. 
" He's held me up for a million. I want to meet him face 
to face." " I am John Simms." " You may surrender to 
Jack, dad." Ainsworth refuses. Jerry and the Count. "I 
scorn your bargain," Ainsworth tries to bluff, but Simms 
and Jerry hold the highest cards. "What's your price for 
the stock?" "Three times what it cost and Jerry's hand 
in marriage." Ainsworth yields. " Jerry, marry this fel- 
low soon. I need him in my business." 



SYNOPSIS 



Act I. The cabin of William Ainsworth's yacht, the 
"Mistress Mary." Forenoon. The Declaration. 

Act II. The same. Early morning three days later. 
The Engagement. 

Act III. The same. Forenoon of the next day. The 
Capitulation. 

Time in Representation : — Two hours. 
4 



COSTUMES 

AiNSWORTH. Act I. Business suit. Acts II and III. 
Appropriate yachting costume. 

SiMMS. Act I. Duck or khaki trousers, with belt ; neg- 
ligee shirt, with sleeves rolled to elbows. Act II. Same, 
with coat. Act III. Business or yachting suit. 

Robert. Sea-captain's uniform. 

Count di Lucca. Wears fashionable business suit on 
first entrance ; afterward, an elaborate yachting costume. 

Lady Caroline and Geraldine. Appropriate yachting 
gowns. 

Kitty. Maid's costume. 



PROPERTIES 

Bouquet, also plates, fruit and other breakfast furnishings, 
for Kitty ; slips of paper and telegrams for Simms. 



SCENE PLOT 




Won by Wireless 



ACT I 



THE DECLARATION 



SCENE. — Cabin ^William Km'-r^owiYC's, yacht, the ^^ Mis- 
tress Mary.'' Companionway, c, back. This compan- 
iomvay consists of two or three steps extending through 
tJie centre entrance of the conventional interior scene, tlie 
upper step being broader and deeper tlian the ot/iers and 
forming a landing from which stairs lead to right and 
left, disappearing behind tJie see fie. Entrances fro7n the 
deck to the cabin are made by way of these stairs. The 
steps and landing sJiould be carpeted if possible, and may 
be built with some degree of permanence, since the scefie 
remains unchanged throughout tJie play. A large mirror 
or picture hangs back of landing. Doors opening into 
staterooms in right and left walls of scene, indicated in 
stage directions as R. i E., r. 2 E., L. i e., and i.. 2 E. 
Large table tiear c, and sofa at r. Chairs, etc. If 
convenient, an electric cliandelier, with lamps unliglited, 
should hang above centre-table. Long box-like ' ' lockers ' ' 
extend on eitlier side of the companionway across the back 
of tlie scene. Each is about two feet high, covered with 
brilliantly colored cloth and piled high with sofa cushions. 
Pictures of a nautical character will doubtless be of service 
in creating the proper atmosphere, a?id if possible the 
staterooms should be properly numbered, and the name 
^^ Mistress Mary " painted in large letters over the com- 
panionway. Special scenery is not essential, and any 
good interior scene can be easily utilized for the setting. 

{At rise of curtain, Kitty Lee enters down right stairway, 
laughing. She carries several large fior is f s boxes.') 



8 WON BY WIRELESS 

Kitty, "A spanking breeze?" Ha, ha, ba ! Whom 
does it spank, Captain ? (^Looks up stairway coquettishly.') 
What! Aren't you coming? Afraid to leave your post, 
eh ? Oh, don't be alarmed ; the old ship won't run off the 
ocean. {Tantalizingly .') Come. I — I dare you ! Oh ! 

{She turns, with a little scream, and runs to centre-table^ 
places boxes on same, and hides behind sofa.) 

{Enter Robert Faulkner by way of stairway, r. He 
pauses on landing.) 

Robert. A sailor never takes a dare, Miss Kitty. 
{Comes forward and looks about the cabin.) By Jove 1 I 
— I say ! {As though calling a kitten.) Kitty, Kitty, Kitty 
— where are you ? 

Kitty {from behind sofa, sings the last notes of the song 
in imitation of a bass voice). " Rocked — in — the — cra-dle 
— of — the — d-e-e-e-p ! " 

Robert. Oh, I see. {Strides to r,, and grasps sofa. 
Kitty rises and moves to end of sofa, keeping the sofa be- 
tween herself and ^o^^ky.) Lookout! I'm after you. 

Kitty. No, no ; keep a proper distance. 

Robert. Ah, but you dared me 1 {He steps behind sofa. 
Kitty passes in frofit of sofa, and runs to centre-table. 
'R.O'B^KT follows and pursues her around table. They finally 
pause, she 07i right, he on left of table.) Come, pay the for- 
feit — ^just a bit of a kiss. 

Kitty {with mock indignation). Sir, I'd have you dis- 
tinctly understand I'm not that sort of girl. {Demurely.) 
And — er — besides, we might be seen. 

Robert. Hardly ; we're quite alone. 

Kitty. Yes ; but the others are coming. 

Robert. Oh, no ; they're all on deck. 

Kitty {nonchalantly). Well, anyway, I've changed my 
mind. I must arrange the posies before Miss Jerry comes 
down. {Opens one of the boxes, and takes out a large bou- 
quet.) See; aren't they pretty? 

Robert, Very pretty. Miss Ainsworth must be a very 
popular young lady. 

Kitty. VVhy, of course she is — stupid ! 

Robert. Tut, tut ; I'm not so stupid as I look. 

Kitty. Aren't you? You're lucky. 



WON BY WIRELESS 9 

Robert (as though exasperated^. Oh, you little bundle 
of impudence ! I'll give you just three seconds to surrender. 
Listen. I'm going to count. 

Kitty. Count ! Ugh ! Don't mention that word to 
me. It reminds me of Count di Lucca — the odious creature ! 

Robert. Why, what's amiss with the Count? He 
seemed quite devoted to Miss Ainsworth when I left them. 

Kitty. That's just it — he is devoted to her, and she de- 
tests him. Oh, it's all Lady Caroline's doings ! She mar- 
ried a nobleman herself, and nothing will do but Miss Jerry 
must follow suit. Why, she has her father fairly hypnotized. 

Robert. And what does Miss Geraldine say about it ? 

Kitty. Oh, Miss Jerry's in love. 

Robert. In love ? 

Kitty. Yes, with a young professor. {Sits at right of 
table.') She met him at the seashore this summer. He 
hasn't a penny in the world. My, but Lady Caroline was 
furious when she learned about it ! The " Mistress Mary " 
came out of dock in record time, I tell you. And here we 
are bound for the Mediterranean and Count di Lucca's 
villa. 

Robert. Ah ! I see. Lady Caroline separates Miss 
Jerry from her impecunious lover, and throws her into Count 
di Lucca's society at one and the same time. Very clever 
arrangement, isn't it? 

Kitty. Yes; but it wouldn't have happened if Miss 
Jerry's mother were living. I tell you she understood Miss 
Jerry, and would have sympathized with her. Why, not 
one of the family has ever set eyes on Jack Simms (that's 
the young professor's name), and they only know that he 
hasn't money or social position. But that's enough, and, 
presto ! — Miss Geraldine is packed off to Europe. 

Robert. But how did the family learn of Miss Jerry's — 
er — love affair? {Sits at left of table.') 

Kitty. I shall never forget the morning it happened. 
We'd been out in the motor-car very early, — ^just Mr. Simms 
and Miss Jerry and — well, I guess I was a sort of chaperon. 
Mr. Simms was studying wireless telegraphy during the sum- 
mer vacation ; we'd left him at the experiment station and 
were returning, when just around a bend in the road we ran 
straight into Lady Caroline. She was riding, and her horse 
shied, so that Miss Jerry had to stop the machine. I think 
her ladyship had been suspicious for some time. At any 



10 WON BY WIRELESS 

rate, she asked Miss Jerry at once what she'd been doing. 
Now Miss Jerry's a girl that just abominates falsehood, and 
quick as a flash came her answer: "I've been taking my 
fiance to his work." " Work ! " gasped Lady Caroline. 
" Heavens ! A knight of the dinner-pail ! I congratulate 
you." Nasty remark, wasn't it? 

Robert. I agree with you. Did Miss Jerry resent it? 

Kitty. Not so you'd notice it. She smiled very sweetly. 
"At least Mr. Simms isn't squandering dad's money on 
Parisian — frivolities," she answered. It was a dig at Lady 
Caroline, whose abominable little husband spends most of 
his time at Paris or Monte Carlo. Lady Caroline straight- 
ened herself in the saddle stiffly. " We'll discuss the mat- 
ter later," she said, and rode on. 

Robert. And did she discuss it later ? 

Kitty. She came to Miss Jerry's breakfast-room next 
morning. I was serving at the time and heard the conversa- 
tion. {Speaks with strong English accent.^ "I've been — 
aw — investigating this young pedagogue's record," she be- 
gan, "and I find him altogether impossible. You've lived 
in this vul-gar American atmosphere too long, my de-ar. 
You're losing all sense of values. Count di Lucca is re- 
turning to Italy soon, and I have suggested to the pater that 
we — aw — convey him — aw — thither in the yacht. A sea 
voyage is a ripping tonic, my de-ar; it will restore your 
equilibrium. We start at once." 

Robert. Miss Geraldine resisted, I suppose? 

Kitty. Oh, no. Miss Jerry's as docile as a kitten — up 
to a certain point. 

Robert (interrogatively). But when that point is reached ? 

Kitty {emphatically). You better believe the fur flies ! 
Why, I'd no idea she'd be sweet-tempered so long, and I 
don't like it a bit. Something's going on that her father 
and Lady Caroline don't know about, but what it is I can't 
imagine. 

Robert. Has she seen Mr. Simms since 



Kitty. Yes ; he called yesterday. I think he intended 
to walk right up to " dad " and ask for his daughter's hand 
like a little man. But no one but Miss Jerry was at home. 
When I took in the tea things Miss Jerry was talking about 
the wireless, and stocks, and the Universal Electric Com- 
pany, and about wanting to control something or other if 
she were only sure that her father considered it valuable. 



WON BY WIRELESS II 

When Mr. Simms left he said, "Good-bye"; but Miss 
Jerry answered : " No ; just * au revoir.' I'll see you at the 
wharf, remember." 

Robert. And was he at the wharf this morning ? 

Kitty, Yes ; he stood near a pile of boxes and barrels, 
and didn't look a bit down-hearted. 

Robert. Did he speak to Mr. Ainsworth or Lady Caro- 
line? 

Kitty. No; they didn't see him. They've never seen 
him, you know. Lady Caroline was in her stateroom, and 
Mr, Ainsworth didn't come on board till the last minute. 
By that time Mr. Simms had gone. At least he wasn't in 
sight when I looked for him. 

Robert, I presume Miss Jerry bade him an affectionate 
adieu, 

Kitty. No ; that's what puzzles me. She glanced in 
his direction only once. It was while you were having all 
that fuss with the wireless man. 

Robert. Wireless man ? (J^ises.) By Jove ! Talk 
about trouble ! It's hard enough to man a yacht on a 
minute's notice without setting up a stock-exchange at the 
same time. 

Kitty {rising). Stock-exchange ? 

Robert. Certainly. That's what Mr. Ainsworth wants 
of the wireless. These financial magnates can't rest till 
they know what the ticker's saying. 

Kitty. I suppose so. But tell me, did the operator 
stay ? Miss Jerry sent me below just as you were getting 
real angry with him. When I came back no one was in 
sight, not even Mr. Simms. 

Robert. Oh, I let the fellow off. He furnished a sub- 
stitute. The chap had been waiting on the wharf all the 
while. His luggage was there, and it looked as though he 

expected my approval. In fact (^He stops suddenly, 

and his expression is 07ie of mingled astonishment and 
amusement?) Great Scott ! I'll wager a four-master 
that 

Ainsworth {outside^. Stuff ! Why should I bother my- 
self with your musty old lingo ? 

(Ainsworth e titers, stairway r., while speaking, followed 
by Lady Caroline Rathbone and Count di Lucca. 
Kitty and Robert withdraw to back of stage. ^ 



12 WON BY WIRELESS 

Count. My dear sir, Italian is da greates* language in 
da world. To speak it is to make-a da music. 

AiNSWORTH. Maybe it is ; but I never had much ambi- 
tion to be a songster. 

Count. It is derive' from da speech of da grand old 
Roman. 

AiNSWORTH. Is that so ? Well, give me a tongue that's 
up to date. Now Esperanto's the very latest brand ; simple 
as A B C, and can be learned in a week. It's no relic of 
the Roman Empire, but a twentieth century product, fit to 
take its place alongside of the automobile, the wireless and 
the air-ship. Who wants to fuss with Dago? 

Lady Caroline (affecting an English accent^. My 
de-ar father, argument is so beastly vul-gar, y'know ! 

AiNSWORTH. I'm not arguing. I'm just stating a simple 
fact. Esperanto's the coming language. Why, inventions 
like the wireless are bringing all parts of the world so close 
together that we've got to have a common speech. It's a 
wonderful age, I tell you. Think of it ! Here we are on 
the broad Atlantic, miles from any other human beings, and 
yet to-morrow morning I shall tell my brokers back there in 
New York what to sell and vvlmt to buy. 

Count. So you have install dis great invention on da 
yacht ? 

AiNSWORTH (emphatically). You bet I have ! 

Lady Caroline. I'm sorry, father. Jerry's young ped- 
agogue's a bit keen on that sort of thing. He might take it 
into his head to send her a message, y'know. 

AiNSWORTH (reflectively). H'm ! I hadn't thought of 
that. (Abruptly.) Where is Jerry ? 

Lady Caroline. On deck, I think. 

Count. Yes, she is on da deck. I have speaka to her. 
I say: "What you looka at?" She answer : " I watcha 
littla old New York fade away." She speaka da word justa 
like dat. "It does notta fade away vera fast," I say. 
"No," she reply, "it is like-a some people I know — vera 
hard to shake ! " I do not understanda what she mean, but 
I t'inka she have insult me. I make-a da grand bow (bows 
low) justa like dat, and take-a my leave — so. 

(Stmts a few steps haughtily .) 

Lady Caroline. My de-ar Count, don't let it annoy 
you. Jerry always had a beastly tongue. 



WON BY WIRELESS £3 

AiNSWORTH {laughingly). Takes after her father, you 
know. We're altogether too American to suit you foreign 
chaps. 

Count. Oh, Miss Geraldine suita me vera good. But I 
beginna to fear I do not (how do you say it in America?) 
filla da bill with her. 

AiNSWORTH. Keep up your courage, Count. We Amer- 
icans like a man who knows what he wants, and never lets 
go till he gets it. 

Count. Is it so ? Then I will be like-a da Garibaldi. 
I will persist ! 

Lady Caroline {with approval). Bravo ! 

Count. I will now make-a da grand toilet. I will then 
be in-vin-ci-ble ! 

AiNSWORTH. Nonsense, Count ! Battles aren't won with 
uniforms. 

Lady Caroline. Hush, father ! it's the European way. 

Count. And a magnificent way it is I {To Kitty.) 
Where is my stateroom, please? 

Kitty {indicating door, r. 2 e.). This is it, sir. 

Count {bowing to Lady Caroline). Excuse me, Lady 
Caroline. 

Lady Caroline. Certainly. I fancy I need a little 
primping myself. {Exit Count, r. 2 e.) Kitty, will you 
help me ? 

Kitty. Yes, your ladyship. 

{ExifLkYiY Caroline, l. 2 e., followed by Kitty.) 

AiNSWORTH. Well, Captain, how's the wireless working ? 

Robert. I've been waiting for an opportunity to men- 
tion the matter, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. Eh ? What ? Nothing amiss, is there ? 

Robert. We had a little trouble with Bolton, the oper- 
ator. He left at the last moment ; said it was on account 
of the illness of a relative. 

AiNSWORTH. H'm 1 Great-aunt or grandmother ? 

Robert {smiling). He didn't say, sir. A young man 
named Johnson took his place. He's rather a decent ap- 
pearing chap ; seems competent, and I guess things will go 
smoothly. 

AiNSWORTH. I hope so. I'm expecting a message from 
New York as soon as the market opens. Let me know the 
moment it comes. 



14 WON BY WIRELESS 

Robert {moving totvard stairway). Very well, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. By the way, tell my daughter Geraldine 
I'd like to see her. 

Robert. Certainly, sir. {The sound of sojue one whis- 
tling a spirited air is heard off L. Robert looks up stair- 
way in that direction.') Ah ! she's coming now. 

{Enter Geraldine Ainsworth, stairway l. As soon as 
she enters, Robert leaves, also by stairway, l.) 

Geraldine. Hello, dad ! 

Ainsworth. Hello, Jerry ! What's that adage about 
whistling girls and 

G^v.Ai.DW^ {shaking fijiger at him playfully). Sh ! Be 
nice. 

Ainsworth. All right. Where have you been hiding 
yourself ? 

Geraldine. Oh, I stayed on deck for a while. 

Ainsworth. Tantalizing the Count? 

Geraldine {nodding). Um-h'ra. Just now I've been 
interviewing the new wireless operator. 

Ainsworth {slyly). Interested in the profession, eh? 

Geraldine. A little; aren't you? 

Ainsworth. Oh, I find the fellows useful in my busi- 
ness. 

Geraldine {feig^iing surprise). Business on a pleasure 
trip? 

Ainsworth. To some extent — yes. I'm looking for a 
decision in the Electric case. 

Geraldine. Going to win, dad? 

Ainsworth. No; going to lose. 

Geraldine. I'm sorry. 

Ainsworth. You needn't be. 

Geraldine. Why ? 

Ainsworth. Because I usually turn defeat into victory, 

Geraldine. Don't boast, dad. 

Ainsworth. I'm not boasting. It's a matter of playing 
the game, that's all. 

Geraldine. Oh, I wjsh I'd been a boy ! 

Ainsworth. I wish you had, Jerry. 

Geraldine. We'd have played the game together ; eh, 
dad? 

Ainsworth {emphatically). You bet ! 



WON BY WIRELESS 1^ 

Geraldine. And if I were a boy you'd tell me all about 
the — er — deals you — er — swing, wouldn't you, dad? 
AiNswoRTH. I suppose so. 
Geraldine (^plaintively). Well, I'm not a boy. 

AiNSWORTH. No ? 

Geraldine. But I'm every bit as good. Don't you 
think so? 

AiNSWORTH. Y-e-s. 

Geraldine. Then why not tell me what the game is 
like? 

AiNSWORTH {smiling). I've not the slightest objection. 
Ask me any questions you choose. 

Geraldine. Well, how, for instance, do you know the 
Electric case will go against you ? 

AiNSWORTH. It's very simple; we deserve it. 

Geraldine. Oh ! Then people always get their deserts 
in the game you play ? 

AiNSWORTH. Sometimes they can't help it. It's a wise 
man who knows when he's beaten. 

Geraldine. I see. Goon. {Sits at left of table.) 

AiNSWORTH. It's a long story. 

Geraldine. But I want to hear it. 

AiNSWORTH. All right. As you know, I've held a con- 
trolling interest in the Universal Electric Company for a 
good many years. 

Geraldine. Yes. 

AiNSWORTH. It's been a big thing and netted pretty 
handsome returns — so handsome, indeed, that certain dis- 
gruntled consumers long ago asked the court to regulate our 
scale of charges. Of course we employed every — er — 
known device to conceal the true condition of the company's 
affairs. 

Geraldine. Was that acting honorably, dad ? 

AiNSWORTH. My dear Jerry, it's the same old struggle 
for existence, only we use our brains now instead of our 
muscles. Don't ever forget that you and I wouldn't be 
here to-day if the monkeys had observed a code of ethics. 

{Sits opposite her.) 

Geraldine. Then it's part of the game for men to make 
monkeys of each other? 

AiNSWORTH. That's one way of expressing it. When 
the trial court cut down our rates, the public surely thought 



l6 WON BY WIRELESS 

it had made a monkey of your poor old dad, but after we'd 
taken an appeal to the Supreme Court of the United States, 
this same stupid old public didn't feel quite so sure about it. 
The price of the stock, which had declined sharply as a re- 
sult of the court's decision, rallied gradually until to-day it 
is quoted at a very decent figure. Thanks to a — er — friendly 
press, the belief has become prevalent that the Supreme 
Court will reverse the lower court's decision. In the mean- 
time, I have thought it advisable to sell as quietly as pos- 
sible the major part of ray stock. 

Geraldine. At the present — er — optimistic prices, I 
presume. 

AiNSWORTH. Naturally. 

Geraldine. I think I'm beginning to learn. Now if the 
Supreme Court should affirm the trial court's decision, as 
you anticipate, Universal Electric won't be quite so — 
salable ? 

AiNSWORTH. You catch the idea exacdy. 

Geraldine. But before that calamity occurs you will 
have unloaded your stock upon the public at a magnificent 
profit. 

AiNSWORTH. Jerry, you're a credit to the profession. 

Geraldine {resolutely). In other words, you steal the 
only available life-boat, and desert the sinking ship. 

AiNSWORTH. Fie, Jerry ! You do your father a grave 
injustice. I've not the slightest intention of deserting the 
ship. It's altogether too stanch a craft. Now you must 
understand that Universal Electric is just as valuable in- 
trinsically as it ever was. Indeed, we have long contem- 
plated a reduction of our rates on the theory that the in- 
crease in patronage occasioned thereby will more than offset 
the loss per capita. 

Geraldine {slyly). Dictating an annual report, dad ? 

AiNSWORTH. Not exactly. 

Geraldine. Excuse me. I didn't mean to interrupt. ' 

AiNSWORTH. No; of course you didn't. Well, on the 
day the court hands down its decision against us, I shall 
place on the market the few shares of Universal Electric I 
now hold. Prices will naturally decline, but a petition for 
rehearing will check the downward impulse momentarily, 
and give me time to sell out. Of course the court will 
eventually deny the petition, and Universal Electric will 
then go to smash. Thereupon, my brokers will be enabled 



WON BY WIRELESS I7 

to buy back for me at a ridiculously low figure the shares I 
have previously sold. I shall still control the same powerful 
corporation, and be several dollars richer besides. 

Geraldine {with animatioii). Dad, you're a genius. 

AiNSWORTH \grtmly). Th&,nks. 

Geraldine. But what if all these things shouldn't hap- 
pen just as you predict? 

AiNSWORTH. Never fear. I haven't studied human na- 
ture for nothing. 

Geraldine. I know ; but suppose when prices begin to 
drop, after the court's decision, some one should buy up all 
the available stock, and then refuse to sell — Universal Elec- 
tric wouldn't go to smash then, would it? — when the court 
denies the petition for rehearing, I mean ? 

AiNSWORTH. Don't worry about that, my dear. People 
aren't anxious to invest in sinking ships, you know. Be- 
sides, it would be a pretty expensive luxury. Why, Jerry, 
you're a very rich girl, and yet it would take every cent of 
the money your mother left you to purchase the majority 
stock of the Universal Electric Company. 

Geraldine. I understand all that; but suppose, just for 
the sake of argument, somebody did buy it ; you'd be at the 
mercy of that person, wouldn't you, dad? 

AiNSWORTH. Well, yes, I suppose I would. Nobody 
knows just how valuable the stock is except myself. {Re- 
flectively.) Yes — I guess I'd pay a pretty good price for it 
if I had to. 

Geraldine. And if the person who had this stock to sell 
had acquired some information about its real value which 
induced him to buy it — acquired the information by a sort 
of subterfuge, I mean, — he'd be acting — well, as honorably 
as you'd act under similar circumstances, wouldn't he? 

AiNSWORTH. Certainly. The strongest survives ; that's 
the whole story. 

Geraldine. Thanks, dad. I understand now as I never 
did before that if one wants very much to win one can't be 
— scrupulous. 

AiNSWORTH. And are you any the happier for know- 
ing it ? 

Geraldine. Lots. {Rises. ^ You see, all the indica- 
tions are pointing to a merry little war — you and Caroline, 
on the one side, and Jack and I, on the other. It's a tre- 
mendous advantage to know your opponent's style of play. 



l8 WON BY WIRELESS 

You've just told me that your code permits strategy and de- 
ceit — that that's the sort of battle you usually wage. Well, 
I'm extremely obliged for the information, and I don't mind 
telling you that I've understood your little game from the 
first, and I don't intend to submit any longer. 

AiNSWORTH. Why, Jerry, what are you talking about? 

Geraldine. I'm talking about your matrimonial scheme. 
Oh, don't you suppose I know what has developed this sud- 
den mania for Italy? Caroline has bewitched you. She's 
made you think it's my duty to marry that insipid little 
Count. Why, he's a joke, dad ! Marry him? Never! 

AiNSWORTH. H'm ! I suppose you think you're going 
to take that penniless schoolmaster for better or — worse ? 

Geraldine. I certainly do — with your approval, if pos- 
sible; without it, if necessary. Oh, I'm not such an idiot 
as to elope while there's a more sensible way. 

AiNSWORTH (risifig). Elope? 

Geraldine. I don't like to oppose you, dad ; but it's 
quite as much for your sake as for mine. 

AiNSWORTH (dryly). Much obliged. 

Geraldine. You've listened to Caroline too much of 
late, and she's got a lot of false un-American notions. 
{Half sadly, half hwnorously.') Mother is — isn't here any 
longer to — to take you in hand. I — I guess it — it's up to 
me to look after you. 

AiNSWORTH (half relenting). Why, bless you, child! 

Geraldine {pleadingly). Dear old dad, I do so want 
your consent. It means such a lot to me ! Oh, if you'd 
ever seen Jack you'd understand. Don't you wish your lit- 
tle girl to be happy, dear ? 

(AiNSWORTH regards her for a moment with open ad?nira- 
tion, then speaks with grim humor.) 

AiNSWORTH. My dear litde girl, flattery is mighty effect- 
ive ammunition — sometimes; but your " dear old dad " is 
pretty well intrenched against it. 

Geraldine. So it's war to the knife, eh ? 

AiNSWORTH. I guess it is. 

Geraldine, Then look out, dad ! I've observed the 
code of honor thus far, but from now on I'm going to fight 
you with your own weapons, and don't you forget for one 
minute that I'm William Ainsworth's daughter. 

AiNSWORTH. H'm ! I'm not likely to. 



WON BY WIRELESS I9 

{Enter Robert, stairway, l.) 

Robert. A message from New York, sir ! 

AiNSWORTH {eagerly'). The decision of the court, I'll 
wager. 

Geraldine. Oh, isn't it exciting? Call everybody 
out, dad, and let's hear it. 

AiNSWORTH. What is the message, Captain ? 

Robert. Johnson is writing it down now. He'll be 
here directly. 

Geraldine. Oh, what fun ! {Runs to door, l. 2 e., 
and knocks.') Caroline! Caroline! Come quickly; dad's 
got a message. {Runs to door, R. 2 e., and knocks.) 
Come, Count, don't you want to hear the news? 

{Enter Lady Caroline, l. 2 ^., followed by Kitty.) 

Lady Caroline. My de-ar Jerry, curb your impetuosity ; 
it's vul-gar. 

{Etiter Count, r. 2 e.) 

Count. Oh, Miss Ainsworth, what's da troub' ? Is da 
ship on fire ? Do we sink ? Oh, save me — save me ! 
Geraldine {sweetly). Don't be nervous. Count. 
AiNSWORTH. What a fuss over nothing ! It's only 

{Enter Jack Simms, stairway, l. Jle carries two slips of 
paper in his ha?id.) 

Simms. Two messages by wireless for Mr. William Ains- 
worth ! 

Kitty {gasping- at sight of Simms). Why! 

Geraldine {hiding Kitty's confusion). How perfectly 
wonderful ! 

AiNSWORTH (to Simms). You're the new operator, I 
suppose ? 

Simms {coming forward). I am, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. What's your name? 

Simms. Johnson, sir, 

AiNSWORTH. Well, Johnson, you may read the mes- 
sages. 

Simms. Pardon me. The first is a bit personal, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. Oh, I have no secrets from my daughters. 
Read it aloud. 



20 WON BY WIRELESS 

SiMMS. Very well, sir. (^Reads from slip of paper. ^ 
*' To William Ainsworth, aboard yacht, ' Mistress Mary ' — 
my dear sir." 

Ainsworth. Yes, yes; goon. 

SiMMS (reading with force and expression). "lam an 
American. I will not give your daughter up if every crowned 
head in Europe tries to win her. Thanks to the wireless, 
there is no spot on land or sea where my words cannot reach 
her, and every day of her absence I shall send your daughter 
this message : ' Jerry, dear, I shall love you forever and 
ever ! ' " Signed, "John Simms." 

Ainsworth. Well, confound the fellow's impudence ! I 
guess I'll read the other message myself. {Takes the other 
slip of paper from Simms.) Ah ! This cipher looks like 
business. ( Takes small note-book from pocket, and com- 
pares it with message as if translating the cipher. ) Good ! 
The court has dealt the blow, Jerry. Universal Electric is 
down and out. 

Geraldine. Not really, dad ? 

Ainsworth. No ; but the public will think it is, all right. 

Geraldine. Then the court has afifirmed the decision ? 

Ainsworth. Yes ; and by this time, if my brokers have 
followed instructions, the trap is nicely set for the poor blind 
mice. It's the psychological moment, Jerry. Wish me 
success. 

Geraldine. Aren't wishes superfluous ? 

Ainsworth. You think, then, that I'm bound to suc- 
ceed? 

Geraldine. Do you ever fail ? 

Ainsworth. You flatter me. 

Geraldine. At any rate, I'm sorry for the mice. 

Ainsworth. Oh, you're much too sentimental. 

Geraldine. Perhaps so. But I'll give you a toast just 
the same. It's this. {With enthusiasm.) Success to the 
brave, love to the fair, and good news by the wireless ! 

(Simms stands fust back of centre-table. Ainsworth is at 
left of table, and Geraldine at right. Count is near 
door, R. 2 e., and Lady Caroline and Kitty near door, 
l. 2 E. Robert stands at foot of stairway.) 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 



THE ENGAGEMENT 



SCENE. — Same as Act I, except that the centre-table has 
been moved to r. c, back, and is covered with a white 
linen table-cloth, and partially set with breakfast dishes. 

(^Enter Simms, stairway, L,, as the curtain rises. He car- 
ries four small slips of paper in his hand, walks to door, 
L. IE., and knocks softly.) 

SiMMS. Jerry ! (Pauses, theft knocks again.) I say — 
Jerry ! 

(Enter Geraldine, l. i e.) 

Geraldine. Yes, yes — what is it? 

Simms, The very best of news. 

Geraldine. You mean ? 

Simms. That your brokers have turned the trick very 
neatly. Listen. This message is addressed to you. (Reads 
from one of the slips of paper.) "Have purchased, as 
directed, a controlling interest in Universal Electric. Stock 
now stands in name of John Simms." 

Geraldine. Hurrah ! Isn't it splendid ? Does dad 
know ? 

Simms. Not yet; but he'll learn the worst at breakfast 
time. His brokers are in a panic. They've sent three 
messages already. 

Geraldine. Good ! I scent the smoke of battle. 

Simms. You see, they weren't prepared for such a crisis. 
Things happened at first much as your father anticipated. 

Geraldine. Oh, dad is sagacious all right. 

Simms. The Supreme Court affirmed the lower court's 
decision. 

Geraldine. Yes — that was soon after we sailed. 

Simms. A petition for rehearing was immediately filed. 

Geralpine (interrupting). And dad's brokers unloaded 

21 



22 WON BY WIRELESS 

the rest of his stock. That brings us up to last evening. 
Now tell me what weird, wireless voices called to dad in the 
night. 

SiMMS (laughing). Oh, the vibrant ether was full of 
them, and it seemed to me they enjoyed our little game. 
First, a cheery little voice chirped through the darkness say- 
ing : " The petition for rehearing has been denied." That's 
message number one. Next, a rollicking bass recounted the 
story of how your father's brokers were unable to buy back 
a controlling interest in Universal Electric, and how they 
frantically demanded the reason only to learn that an un- 
known speculator had already purchased the majority stock. 
That's message number two. Lastly, a tiny, mirthful fal- 
setto piped out the name of the daring young speculator who 
had brought consternation to your father's ranks. I laughed 
to hear it. That name was my own. That's message num- 
ber three. 

Geraldine. Splendid, Jack, splendid ! We're going to 
win, I know we are. Oh, I could just shout with joy. 

SiMMS. Better not. You'll disturb the others. 

Geraldine. All right. I'll be prim and proper. When 
shall you tell dad the news ? 

SiMMS. I'll leave the messages on the breakfast table. 
Those are my instructions, you know. 

Geraldine. My, but dad's digestion will get a shock. 
Won't he be furious? 

SiMMS. That's putting it mildly. This delicious little 
bunch of information ought to prove a bombshell. 

Geraldine. It surely ought; and when it explodes 
you'll follow up your victory with resolution, won't you, 
dear? 

SiMMS. My victory ? Why, you deserve all the credit, 
Jerry. 

Geraldine. Nonsense ! I merely furnished the sinews 
of war. The key to the situation's in your hands ; you 
must conduct negotiations with dad. 

SiMMS. But what will he think of me ? 

Geraldine. Don't ask yourself that question. Just re- 
member that he'll never give his daughter to a man who 
lets her fight his battles for him. 

SiMMS. Oh, I've no disposition to hide behind a woman. 

Geraldine. Of course you haven't, and I want dad to 
know it. 



WON BY WIRELESS 



23 



SiMMS. Consider my position, though. Your father will 
think I have betrayed his confidence. 

Geraldine. Ah, but you haven't, I'll explain it all to 
him at the proper time. You know very well that I had 
quite determined to buy this stock long before we sailed. 
My brokers were fully instructed, and had already converted 
my fortune into cash. I knew dad considered the stock 
very valuable, but I didn't fully understand his game. 

SiMMS. Until he explained it to you himself the day we 
sailed. 

Geraldine. Yes. But even then it wasn't necessary to 
use the information he gave me, for my brokers had been 
told to purchase the stock whenever it could be bought at a 
reasonable price. I simply confirmed the order by wireless 
after my conversation with dad. 

SiMMS. Yes, I know. But the stock now stands in my 
name, Jerry. 

Geraldine. Certainly. It would never do for you to 
enter the fray unarmed. As a poor wireless operator you're 
not quite formidable enough, but as the controller of the 
Universal Electric Company I rather guess you'll command 
respect even from dad. As for the stock, if I choose to 
loan it to you as a — er — further investment, that's my affair, 
isn't it ? 

SiMMS (doubtfully). Perhaps ; but to tell the truth, I'm 
growing fond of your father. He has trusted me with the 
cipher code 

Geraldine. Well ! suppose he has? You haven't taken 
advantage of it, have you ? — except to read these messages 
which you couldn't help reading anyway. 

SiMMS. No ; but your father may think so. 

Geraldine. Then he'll admire your shrewdness. I 
know dad. 

SiMMS. Well, but my conscience 

Geraldine. Don't let your conscience bother you. Be- 
lieve me, dad's standard of commercial honor isn't lofty 
enough to make comparisons odious. 

SiMMS (reluctantly). Well, then, I suppose I'll have to 
crush the "still, small voice," and play St. George to your 
father's dragon. 

Geraldine (encouragingly). That's right. And don't 
you yield an inch. Just make the dragon squirm ; he'll re- 
spect you all the more for it. 



24 WON BY WIRELESS 

SiMMS {doubtftiUy). I hope so. 

Geraldine {decisively). I know so. Now let's forget 
plots and counterplots for a while. 

SiMMS {with relief). I'm only too glad to forget them. 

Geraldine. Let's go on deck where we can gaze out 
upon the ocean. 

SiMMS. That suits me capitally. 

Geraldine {sentimentally). And let's think of the ships 
that passed us last night, and of the millions of stars that 
were floating up there in the sky. And you shall tell me — 
well, what will you tell me, dear ? 

SiMMS. I'll tell you how a tiny word is flashed out into 
that pathless void and received on the instant a thousand 
miles away. 

Geraldine {enthusiastically). And we'll think how very 
much we resemble those wireless messages — how we are 
flashed across the ocean of life, and cannot be kept apart by 
time or space or — or anything ; and all because our love 
is 

Robert {outside). As wide and as deep as the sea, 
Kitty. 

Geraldine. Goodness gracious ! Talk about telepathy ! 
{Enter Kitty and Robert, stairway l. Kitty carries a 
pile of plates which she places on table.) Good-morning, 
Captain I Pleasant morning for lovers, isn't it ? 

Robert {smiling). Very pleasant, thank you. 

Geraldine {to Kitty). Kitty, we're going on deck till 
breakfast time. Call us when dad appears. 

Kitty. Very well, ma'am. 

(Kitty begins setting table.") 

SiMMS. Just a moment, Kitty. 

Kitty {turning from table). Yes, Mr. Si Oh, 

my ! I beg your pardon. 

SiMMS. That's all right; no harm done. I want to 
thank you for respecting my masquerade. 

Kitty. Oh, you're very welcome, sir. 

SiMMS {to Robert). And many thanks to you, also, 
Captain. I know you could put Mr. Ainsworth wise to a 
lot of things. It's mighty good of you to refrain. 

Robert. I command my ship. What goes on in the 
cabin is no concern of mine. 

Geraldine {heartily). You're all right, Captain ! 



WON BY WIRELESS 25 

Robert (boiving). Thank you. 

SiMMS {to Kitty). Kitty, please place these messages on 
the table where Mr. Ainsworth will see them. {Hands 
Kitty the three slips of paper.') Tell him they reached us 
during the night. 

Kitty. Very well, sir. 

(Kitty turns and places messages 071 table.) 

Geraldine. And don't forget to call us. 
Kitty. No, miss. 

{Exeunt Geraldine and '^ivmS), stairway b.) 

Robert. You didn't give me your answer, Kitty. 

Kitty {ignoring his remark). Aren't they a glorious 
couple? 

Robert. Yes; but I know a couple that's just as glori- 
ous. 

Kitty. Do you ? I don't. Why, Miss Jerry is simply 
superb. 

Robert. There are others. 

Kitty. I know it. A sailor has " others " in every port, 
they say. 

SiMMS. Kitty, that's unkind. 

Kitty. Well, isn't it true? 

Robert. You haven't answered my question. 

Kitty {innocently). Did you ask me one ? 

Robert. Did I ask you one ? Since the day we sailed 
I've asked you nothing else. I've told you that my love is 
wider than the ocean 

Kitty. Ha, ha, ha ! And just about as green. 

Robert {reproachfully). Kitty ! 

Kitty. Don't bother me. I've got to set the table. 
Hand me one of those plates. (Robert absently picks up a 
spoon from table and passes it to her.) Ninny ! I didn't 
ask for a spoon. 

Robert. No; you're mightily afraid of "spoons," I 
notice. 

Kitty. Any self-respecting girl ought to be, especially 
when a fickle-hearted sailor's around. 

Robert. I'm not fickle. You're the only girl I ever 
cared a fig for. 

Kitty. What a fib ! 



26 WON BY WIRELESS 

Robert. Think how happy we'd be sailing on the — er 
— sea of life. We both have perfect dispositions, and 
there'd never be a single storm for us to weather. We'd 
never quarrel 

Kitty. That's so. I'm not a bit quarrelsome, 

Robert. Neither am I. 

Kitty. But you're awfully persistent. 

Robert. No, I'm not. 

Kitty. Yes, you are. You always have your own way. 

Robert. Nonsense ! I never do. 

Kitty. Why, what a story ! 

Robert. Kitty, you know very well that ever since we 
left New York I've been a perfect slave to you. 

Kitty {^gradually becojning angry). I know nothing of 
the sort. You've been a perfect tyrant. 

Robert. I haven't. 

Kitty. Yes, you have. 

Robert. Well, you're a flirt. 

Kitty. So are you. 

Robert (^furiously'). I've a mind 

Kitty. Then it's a pretty empty one. 

Robert. It isn't. 

Kitty. It is. 

Robert. Look here ! 

Kitty. Look yourself. 

Robert. Why, Kitty ! 

Kitty {stamping her f oof). I hate you. 

Robert. No, you don't. 

Kitty. Yes, I do. 

Robert. You're going to marry me. 

Kitty. I'd die first. 

Robert. Then I'll jump overboard. 

Kitty. Jump. I don't care. 

Robert {moving toward stairway). I'm going. 

Kitty {coolly). Good-bye. 

Robert. I'll marry some other girl. 

Kitty {sharply). You sha'n't. 

Robert. I shall. 

Kitty. I'll scratch her eyes out. 

Robert. You can't. 

Kitty. Well, I'll marry you myself — so there ! 

Robert. You — you'll — what ! Oh, Kitty, do you mean 
it? I 



WON BY WIRELESS - TJ 

Kitty, Oh, aren't we silly? I've been just horrid. 
Robert. And I'm a brute. Let's makeup. 
Kitty. Yes, let's. (Robert comes toward her. ~) But 
not just now. 

{She tries to elude him, but he catches her and holds her in 
his arms.') 

Robert. Yes, now. Will you really marry me, Kitty ? 

Kitty. Well, I'll think about it. If Miss Jerry and 
Mr. Simms get married I'll have to be looking for another 
situation. 

Robert (releasing her). Oh, they'll get married fast 
enough. They're plotting like regular thieves to win Mr. 
Ainsworth's consent. 

Kitty. I know they are. Wasn't Mr. Ainsworth sur- 
prised to receive that first message ? He actually thought 
it came from across the sea, and how he'll rave when he 
learns who his wireless operator really is ! 

Robert. I'm not so sure of that. He has taken quite a 
fancy to — Johnson. 

Kitty. Perhaps that's part of Miss Jerry's game — to in- 
terest her father in Mr. Simms. 

Robert. Oh, it's a deeper game than that. It has to 
do with the wireless and those messages there and the 
market. I can tell it isn't child's play by the way they 
manoeuver. 

Kitty. Well, we'll see the fun anyhow. 

Robert. Yes; but I hope Mr. Ainsworth won't think 
I've had a hand in the deception. 

Kitty. Of course he won't. Why, you knew nothing 
whatever about it. 

Robert. No, I hadn't a suspicion till you told me that 
Mr. Simms was on the pier the morning we sailed and that 
he had studied wireless telegraphy. Then like a flash I 
knew what had happened. It was too late then, and so I 
kept quiet. (Count is heard moaning in stateroom, 
R. 2 e.) Listen ! What's that? 

Kitty. It sounds like Count di Lucca. 

Robert. It is the Count. 
* 

{Enter Count, r. 2 e.) 

Count {moaning). Oh, oh, oh ! 



28 WON BY WIRELESS 

Robert. Good-morning, sir. 

Count. Oh, please, please, Captain, stoppa da yacht. I 
feela justa like I should die. 

Kitty. Are you ill ? 

Count. 111? No; I am sick — sick justa like a dog. 

Robert. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it won't do to stop 
the yacht. 

Count. Oh, if you could justa keepa da boat still for 
only one littla minute I t'inka 1 should be vera much im- 
prove. 

Robert. It's quite impossible. There's a heavy sea 
this morning. 

Count. Yes, and da wave is big justa like-a da moun- 
tain. 

Robert. Quite so. 

Count. Oh, I shall not live to be buried in da mag-nif- 
i-cent tomb of my noble ancestors. I shall go down to da 
watery grave. I am humiliate. It is one greata disgrace. 

Robert (smiling). There's really no danger, I think. 
Your symptoms are not altogether unknown. 

Count. You t'inka dat I will live? 

Robert. Most assuredly. You'll feel better after 
breakfast. 

Count. Breakfast ! Oh, I could notta eat a t'ing. I 
have lose-a da wish for even da littla swallow. 

(Count sinks into chair, l., in an attitude of utter de- 
jection. Enter Lady Caroline, l. 2 e.) 

Lady Caroline. Ah, how-d'you-do, everybody? 
Good-morning, Count. 

Count (rising). Gooda-morning, Lady Caroline. It is 
a delightful morning. 

Lady Caroline. Perfectly ripping, isn't it ? 

Count (sinking back into chair'). Quite — ripping, 
t'anka you. 

Lady Caroline. Eh? (Regarding him closely.) Why, 
my de-ar fellow, you're looking beastly. Aren't you well? 

Count. T'anks. I'm miserable. 

Lady Caroline. You look positively seedy, y'know. 
Let me ask the pater if he hasn't something that will brace 
you up a bit. (Knocks on door, R, i E, ) Father ! 

AiNSWORTH (fro?n staterootn). Hello ! Breakfast ready ? 
(Enters, R. i E.) Well, well ! everybody waiting ? I 



WON BY WIRELESS 29 

guess I'm late. (71? Count.) Great day, Count ! I tell 
you this salt sea air puts new blood into a man's veins. 

[Exit Kitty, stairway R.) 

Count (sarcastically). Ah, yes; it is a great t'ing. I 
like it. 

AiNSWORTH. Hello! What's up? 

Count. Everat'ing. 

Lady Caroline. Count di Lucca is a bit under the 
weather this morning. 

Count. My head spins around justa like-a da top. 

Ainsworth (regarding him keenly). Ha, ha, ha ! Why, 
man, you're seasick. 

Count. Ha, ha, ha ! It is a gooda joke. I have aska 
da captain to stoppa da yacht, but he t'inka it is a joke also. 

Ainsworth. Stop the yacht? Well, that is a joke. 
Ha, ha, ha ! 

Count. Yes, it is vera funny. 

Lady Caroline. Father, don't be unfeeling. 

Ainsworth. I'm not. I'm very sympathetic. 

Lady Caroline. Can't you help the poor fellow? 

Ainsworth. Oh, he isn't going to die. Cheer up. 
Count. Your troubles won't last long. 

Count. T'anka you. I am vera cheerful. 

(Count relaxes into attitude of dejection.) 

Ainsworth. Ha, ha, ha ! I see you are. {Turning 
to Robert.) Well, Captain, any news this morning? 

Robert. Several wireless messages were received last 
night, sir. 

Ainsworth. Is that so ? Where are they ? 

Robert. Johnson left them there on the table, sir. 

Ainsworth. Oh, yes ; I remember. I told him to. 

Robert. Shall I get them, sir? 

Ainsworth. No. I won't read 'em till Jerry comes. 
I'm teaching her how we manipulate the market. She's 
clever, too ; wish she'd been a boy. 

(Enter Geraldine and Simms, stairway R.) 

Geraldine. Hard luck, isn't it, dad? 
Ainsworth. Well, I'm getting used to it. (To Simms.) 
'Morning, Johnson ! 



30 



WON BY WIRELESS 



SiMMS. Good-morning, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. Messages came last night, eh? 

SiMMS. Yes. They're im|)ortant, I think. 

AiNSWORTH. I want to know ! Well, well, Jerry, we 
must have a look at 'em. 

SiMMS {taking messages from table'). They're here, sir. 
(^Hands one of the messages to Ainsworth.) This was the 
first to reach us. 

AiNSWORTH {glancing at message). H'm ! Look here, 
Jerry. Your old dad knows a thing or two. {Hands her 
the slip of paper.) Read that. 

Geraldine {reading with puzzled expressioii). " Pagoda 
— remote." Well, I knew Rhoda had a pagoda, but I didn't 
know you were looking for one. What's it mean, dad, and 
why is it remote ? 

AiNSWORTH {laughing). That's the cipher code. I for- 
got you didn't understand it. We have to keep our tran- 
sactions secret, you know. 

Geraldine {innocently). Do you? How mysterious ! 

AiNSWORTH. Well, it's practical. Translated, the mes- 
sage says that the petition for rehearing has been denied. 

Geraldine {clapping her hands). How perfectly de- 
lightful ! Just what you predicted, isn't it? 

AiNSWORTH (with beaming face). Sure thing ! 

Geraldine. Oh, you're a wizard, dad ! 

AiNSWORTH. Well, I guess I've cut my wisdom teeth. 
Now, Jerry, watch how we play the game. 

Geraldine. I'm watching. 

AiNSWORTH {to SiMMs). Whcrc's the next one, John- 
son? 

SiMMS {handing him a secojid slip of paper). This is it, sir. 

AiNSWORTH {inspecting the message with a puzzled frowti). 
H'm! Eh? {Puts on eye-glasses.) What's this? {Takes 
stnall note-book from pocket and compares it with message.) 
You've made a mistake, man. That can't be right. 

SiMMS. I think it is, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. I tell you it's impossible. Why, what — 
what ails the idiots ? Can't get control ? Stuff ! Of course 
they can. 

Geraldine {sweetly). Something wrong, dad ? 

AiNSWORTH {gruffly). Yes — no. I don't know. 

SiMMS. Better read the last message, sir. It explains the 
situation, I think. 



WON BY WIRELESS 



31 



(SiMMS hands Ainsworth the remainitig message.') 



AiNSWORTH. Yes, yes, of course. (Scrutinizes message.) 
What ! By heaven, it's a lie ! 

Geraldine. My, dad, how melodramatic ! 

Ainsworth {sternly). Jerry, is this another practical 
joke? 

Geraldine. I'm sure I don't know. Is the pagoda less 
remote, dad ? What does the message say ? 

Ainsworth, It says that the majority stock of the Uni- 
versal Electric Company has been purchased by one John 
Simms. Do you hear me? By one John Simms. 

Geraldine. Yes, dad, I hear. 

Ainsworth. Egad ! is that name to pursue me every- 
where ? 

Geraldine. It's a nice name, dad ; better get used to 
it. I may take a notion to wear it one of these days. 

Ainsworth. There'll be precious little left to wear when 
I get through with the fellow. 

Geraldine. Dear me, dad, how dreadfully volcanic ! 
Don't rave. Jack will sell you his stock. I'll ask him to — 
for a consideration. 

Ainsworth. Oh-ho, young lady ! So you've had a 
hand in this business, eh ? 

Geraldine. How did you guess it, dad ? 

Ainsworth. I'm not an imbecile. 

Geraldine. I never thought you were. 

Ainsworth (to Simms). Johnson, has my daughter 
communicated by wireless with this man Simms? 

Simms (hesitatingly). Why, sir, I 

Ainsworth (sternly). Answer me. 

Geraldine. Don't hesitate, Mr. Johnson. Tell dad 
the truth. 

Simms. During the past two days, sir, they have com- 
municated with each other almost constantly. 

Ainsworth. Concerning the market, I presume? 

Simms. For the most part, yes. 

Ainsworth. And why did you not report this to me ? 

Simms. I'm not employed to act the spy. 

Ainsworth. H'm ! Mighty finical, aren't you ? 

Geraldine (archly). Remember it's the same old story, 
dad. The strongest survives. 

Ainsworth (grimly). Oh, I guess I'm a match for a 



32 



WON BY WIRELESS 



beggarly schoolmaster. Why, the fellow hasn't a nickel to 
his name. 

Geraldine. But I have, dad. 

AiNSWORTH. Yes ; and I suppose you've loaned him 
your entire fortune to invest in this wildcat scheme. 

Geraldine {^quietly). Jack knows that he's welcome to 
all I have. 

AiNSWORTH. He's welcome to all he gets. Once let me 
reach dry land 

Count {t-ising with animatioii). Letta me go, too. 

AiNSWORTH {savagely). Hold your tongue ! (Count 
sinks back into his former attitude.') Once let me reach 
New York, I say, and I'll break this precious lover of yours 
like a reed. 

(Kitty has entered stairway l., quietly, during Geral- 
dine' s last speech. Havitig placed fruit on the table, she 
now comes forward and addresses Ainsworth.) 

Kitty. Breakfast is served, sir. 

AiNSWORTH {fiercely). Breakfast be hanged ! (Kitty 
returns hastily to table.) Captain, turn the yacht about. 
I'm going home. 

Lady Caroline {with horror). Not back to America, 
father ? 

Ainsworth. Yes, to America. 

Count. But how do I reacha da sunny Italy? 

AiNSWORTH {sharply). Walk. 

Lady Caroline. Father, you're positively brutal. 

AiNSWORTH. I am, eh? Well, don't let it trouble you. 
If you don't like my conversation, go talk to your sweet lit- 
tle Count. 

Lady Caroline. Hush ! What will he think of you ? 

AiNSWORTH. I don't know and I don't care. 

Lady Caroline. Father, listen to me. 

AiNSWORTH. Oh, I've listened to you quite long enough. 
And while I've been trying to swallow your high-flown 
notions about earls and dukes and European culture, a good, 
live American has held me up for a cool million or so. 

Geraldine {quickly). Oh ! Then you admit that he 
has held you up. 

AiNSWORTH. For the moment, yes. He'll sing a dif- 
ferent tune, though, when I get back home again. 



WON BY WIRELESS 33 

Geraldine. Oh, he's quite able to fight his own battles. 

AiNSWOKTH. Well, he'll have plenty of battles to fight. 
{Turns to Robert.) Captain, don't stand there like a 
blockhead. Turn the boat around, I say. 

Robert. Do you really mean it, sir ? 

AiNSWORTH. Mean it? Of course I do. I sha'n't have 
a minute's peace of mind till I've met this smart young 
school-teacher face to face. 

Robert. But, sir 

AiNSWORTH {imperiously). Not another word ! Obey 
my orders. 

SiMMS {quietly). Mr. Ainsworth, those orders are quite 
unnecessary. 

AiNSWORTH. Well, upon my word ! 

SiMMS. Your business with Mr. Simms can be transacted 
here and now. 

AiNSWORTH. By wireless — yes. But I'm done with toys. 

Simms. I'm not referring to the wireless, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. You're not? Then what the deuce do you 
mean ? 

Simms. I mean that the man you're so anxious to meet 
isn't in New York, nor even in America. 

AiNSWORTH {contemptuously). Stuff ! What's your rea- 
son for thinking so ? 

Simms (cahnly). The very best reason in the world. I 
am John Simms. 

AiNSWORTH {7juith astonishment). You — John Simms ! 

Simms. Precisely. 

AiNSWORTH. So ? You've bribed your way into my 
employ, eh ? — taken and received confidential messages, 
and 

Geraldine. One moment, dad ! There's been no trick- 
ery here, except perhaps in Jack's securing employment in 
place of your wireless man. We thought you had sense of 
humor enough to take that joke like a sportsman. As for 
the purchase of the stock, I alone am responsible, and my 
brokers will tell you that they had my order before we left 
New York. What you told me the other day only con- 
firmed my suspicions. Thus far, I'm proud to say we've 
been able to conduct our campaign without adopting your — 
well, your tactics. 

AiNSWORTH {sarcastically). Indeed ! I congratulate 
you, 



34 WON BY WIRELESS 

Geraldine. We've captured your intrenchments in fair, 
open battle, dad. The wireless has been your weapon as 
much as mine, and I have never asked Jack to use it to 
your detriment. 

AiNSWORTH. Very considerate, I'm sure. 

Geraldine. But it's brought us the good news we de- 
sired, and armed with that information I reckon we're 
invincible. With this brief explanation I retire to the 
ranks. You may surrender the fort to Jack. 

AiNSWORTH {choking with rage). Surrender? Why, I — 
I Oh, I haven't begun to fight ! 

Geraldine. Tut, tut, dad ! Do be original. {To the 
others.) Ladies and gentlemen, the ceremonies of capitula- 
tion will be duly observed in the saloon of the " Mistress 
Mary" at an early date. The victors are already waiting 
to receive the spoils. For further particulars consult the 
defeated army. 

(Kitty stands near table with Lady Caroline on her left. 
AiNSWORTH is c. Geraldine is on his right, and Simms, 
on his left. Robert stands near stairway, and Count 
is seated in chair at extreme l.) 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 



THE CAPITULATION 



SCENE. — Same as Act II, except that dishes and table- 
cloth have been removed from table. 

(^At rise of curtain, Lady Caroline and Count are dis- 
covered seated ^. c. and h. c, respectively.) 

Lady Caroline. My de-ar Count, I fe-ar your suit is 
hopeless. 

Count. Lady Caroline, da fates are against me. Yes- 
terday I was so sick dat I could notta hold up my head, and 
now dat I am myself again, you tella me dat your beautiful 
sister will notta marry me. 

Lady Caroline. To tell the truth, Jerry has never 
looked upon the alliance with favor, but I counted on 
father's influence to overcome her opposition. 

Count. And your father? Does he now deserta me? 

Lady Caroline. Is it possible you didn't appreciate the 
situation yesterday? 

Count. There was vera mucha yesterday dat I did 
notta appreciate. 

Lady Caroline. I can well understand it. 'Twas a 
beastly day. 

Count. T'anka you. I t'inka so myself. 

Lady Caroline. Well, Jerry and this young American 
deliberately set a trap for the pater. It was a vul-gar, low- 
bred trick, and I fancy father is at their mercy. In fact, he 
has intimated as much to me. Worst of all, he's half in- 
clined to admire what he calls the "cool nerve" of the 
thing. They're to have an interview this morning. 

Count. Is it so ? Then I must speaka to Miss Jerry. I 
t'inka dat I have delay too long already. I musta be reso- 
lute. It is da quality dat catcha da fancy of American 
girls. 

Lady Caroline. Oh, Jerry's fancy is already caught. 
Her views are distorted, and she doesn't value rank and 

35 



36 WON BY WIRELESS 

nobility as you and I value them. Your efiforts w 11 be 
doomed to failure, I fe-ar. 

Count. Never-da-less, I will make-a da formal offer of 
marriage to her in the American style. Perhaps it is whata 
she expects. (Geraldine is heard whistling off R.) Ah ! 
it is she already. 

Lady Caroline {with disgust^. Heavens ! Whistling, 
too, in her vul-gar, tomboy fashion. Well, Count, I'll leave 
you to your fate; but mind, I prophesy failure. 

Count. Ah, no ; I shalla succeed ! 

{Enter Geraldine, stairway r.) 

Geraldine (sweetly'). Do I intrude ? 

Lady Caroline. Not at all. I'm going on deck. Count, 
you may join me later if you choose. 

Count (bowing impressively). T'anka you. I will 
availa myself of da privilege. (Exit Lady Caroline, 
stairway l.) Miss Ains worth, 1 t'inka dat you are a bird, 
your whistle is so sweet. 

Geraldine. Ha, ha, ha ! So I'm a bird, eh ? Thanks 
awfully. It takes an American to appreciate that compli- 
ment. What sort of bird do I resemble, pray ? 

Count (bowing low). Da bird of paradise ! 

Geraldine (laughing). I guess the saucy little wren is 
more in my line. 

Count. Miss Ainsworth — Miss Jerry, I have-a some- 
t'ing serious to tella you. 

Geraldine. Serious ? What is it. Count ? 

Count (proudly). I am da last of a great and noble 
race. 

Geraldine. My ! that is a pretty serious proposition. 

Count. My ancestors have helpa to make-a da history 
of Italy. In all da world there is no name more glorious 
than mine. I owna da grand ancestral palace. It is beauti- 
ful ; it is sublime. But, alas ! da walls, they crumble and 
fall. I have notta da wealth to supportta such mag-nif-i- 
cence. You, signorina, are vera rich, but you are Ameri- 
can ; you have no such a t'ing as da noble ancestor. Be- 
hold ! I will give-a to you da proud name Di Lucca, 
and you shall give-a to me da cash. (Grandly.) Miss 
Ainsworth — Miss Jerry — signorina, I offer to you my hand. 
■■ Geraldine. Ha, ha, ha ! How refreshingly frank ! 



Won by wireless 37 

Count (Jiaughtily). Ah! You give-a to me da "ha- 
ha" ! I am insult'. 

Geraldine. I sincerely beg your pardon. Believe me, 
Count di Lucca, I am not insensible to the honor you have 
done me. It is only that our views of life are different. 
You prize great riches and a regal name. To me they are 
as nothing compared with love. 

Count. Ah, but I have-a da grand passion. I 

Geraldine. It isn't the grand passion I'm talking about. 
I'm speaking of the simplest and divinest thing in tlie uni- 
verse. We can't explain it any more than we can tell why 
the voice of the wireless speaks through immeasurable 
distance. Perhaps, if we but knew, it is the selfsame 
power at work with human souls. The clink of gold or the 
"tinkling cymbal" of pride has deafened some of us for a 
while, but I — thank God ! — can still hear above it all love's 
exquisite melody. {Enter ?)iuu?,, stairwayR. Ainsvi^orth 
enters from the same direction immediately afterward, and 
stands on landing at back'. Simms moves toward Ger- 
aldine.) Count di Lucca, the man I love has neither 
earthly wealth nor pride of ancestry, but I love him because 
he is strong and true and genuine. {Turns toward Simms.) 
I love him more than name or fame or fortune, and I scorn 
your impious bargain. 

(Geraldine gives her left hand to Simms, and they stand 
half facing Count. Geraldine is at r. c, the Count, 
l. c, and Simms, c, though not quite so far front as 
either Geraldine or Count. Ainsworth comes for- 
ward, and as he speaks, Simms crosses to r. Ainsworth 
?noves to C.) 

Ainsworth. H'm ! Pretty touching sentiment ! Count, 
I guess that's what they call a "grand slam." 

Geraldine {innocently'). Talking Esperanto, dad ? 

Ainsworth. Not exactly. My dear Count, don't let 
my daughter's conduct annoy you ! She's a bit wilful just 
now, but she'll grow more tractable in the next few minutes. 

Count. Ah 1 Then I will waita her pleasure on da 
deck. Ecco ! I go. 

{Exit, L.) 

Ainsworth. Good-day. {Turns to Geraldine and 



38 Won by wireless 

SiMMS.) Well, my fine young financiers, I'm ready to talk 
business. It won't take more than a minute or two to ac- 
quaint you with my decision. 

Geraldine. The reins are in Jack's hands, dad. Leave 
me out of the controversy. 

AiNswoRTH. Oh, I guess we're not going to have any 
controversy. 

Geraldine {sweetly). That's nice, I'm sure. 

AiNSWORTH. Just at first I was angry to think you'd 
tried to play a trick on me. 

Geraldine {quizzically). Tried, dad ? 

AiNSWORTH. It amounts to that. {Addresses Simms, 
Geraldine moving to back of stage.) I've been thinking 
the matter over since yesterday. I've had a good night's 
sleep, and have reached a conclusion. 

Simms. I'm glad to hear it, sir. 

AiNSWORTH. Maybe you won't be so glad when you do 
hear it — sir. 

Simms. Indeed ! May I ask what your decision is ? 

AiNSWORTH. You may. To be honest with you, I've 
decided that the game isn't worth the candle. 

Simms. What am I to understand by that? 

AiNSWORTH. You're to understand that, so far as I'm 
concerned. Universal Electric is a dead duck, 

Simms. A dead duck ? 

AiNSWORTH. Oh, I don't say it couldn't be resuscitated 
— in time. I thought till yesterday I'd undertake the task, 
but in view of the court's decision and the fact that you 
and my daughter have shown such unusual interest in the 
stock, I've concluded to adopt a very simple course. 

Geraldine {as though reciting to herself). 

I know a magnate fair of speech, 

Take care ! 
He can both cheat and overreach, 

Beware ! Beware ! 

AiNSWORTH {fretfully). Jerry, what sort of drivel are 
you spouting? 

Geraldine. I'm revising Longfellow a bit. 

AiNSWORTH. H'm ! 

Simms {politely). You were saying, sir ? 

AiNSWORTH. I was saying that I shouldn't care to con- 



WON BY WIRELESS 39 

sider any proposition you might wish to make me relative to 
the majority stock of the Universal Electric Company for 
the simple reason that I've decided to let it alone. 

SiMMS. You mean ? 

AiNSWORTH. Just what I say. I'm sorry my daughter 
has squandered her fortune, but we all have to buy a few- 
gold bricks in the course of human progress, and perhaps 
the lesson is worth it. 

Geraldine. Ahem ! William Ainsworth, philosopher ! 

AiNSWORTH. There's another matter, too, that I wish to 
mention. They tell me you want to marry my daughter. 
Mr. Simms, forget it. I have other plans for her future. 

Geraldine {coming forward'). Do you know, dad, I 
have a tremendous admiration for you? 

Ainsworth. Have you ? Why? 

Geraldine. Because you're such a gigantic bluffer. 

Ainsworth {irritably). I thought you withdrew from 
this controversy. 

Geraldine {affably). I thought it wasn't a controversy. 

(Geraldine retires to back of stage.) 

Simms. Mr. Ainsworth, I'm exceedingly glad you have 
been so frank with me. I'll try to be equally frank with 
you. Had you desired to purchase a controlling interest in 
the Universal Electric Company, I should have felt com- 
pelled, under the existing circumstances, to sell you, for a 
fair remuneration, stock which I vastly prefer to keep. 

Ainsworth. Well, I like your nerve ! 

Simms. I have no doubt in my own mind that this in- 
vestment will more than treble in value. Furthermore, I 
propose to elect myself general manager of the corporation 
at a munificent salary. You see I have at least an elemen- 
tary knowledge of how you magnates play the game. 

(Geraldine applauds softly.) 

Ainsworth {grimly). I see. 

Simms. That brings us to your second proposition, con- 
cerning which I beg to inform you that I shall certainly 
marry your daughter in spite of your flippant request for me 
to "forget it." 'Tis true that both Jerry and I prefer your 
consent, but we don't consider it indispensable, nor worth 
more than a reasonable concession. 



40 WON BY WIRELESS 

AiNSwoRTH. You don't, eh? Well, what do you call a 
reasonable concession ? 

SiMMS. It is futile for us to quibble. You don't care 
to purchase, and I'm not anxious to sell. Why, then, 
should we prolong this interview? 

AiNSWORTH. Why, indeed? 

SiMMS. In the main we agree' most admirably. Permit 
me, therefore, to bid you good-morning. 

(SiMMS starts toward stairway, but turns as Ainsworth 
speaks.') 

■ Ainsworth. Just one moment, if you please. You say 
you'd feel compelled to sell me your stock at a fair price in 
case I desired to buy. Assuming for the moment that I do 
so desire, what is your price ? 

SiMMS. Mr. Ainsworth, suppose we drop assumptions. 
Do you wish to purchase this stock, or don't you? 

Ainsworth. Why, no ; I hardly think 

SiMMS (moving to doorway). Good-morning. 

Ainsworth {hastily). Wait, wait, Mr. Simms. Don't 
be so hasty. (Simms turns.) Of course, if I can buy it 
right 

Simms {coming forward). You can, sir. I have no dis- 
position to take an unfair advantage. 

Ainsworth. Very well, then. What is your propo- 
sition ? 

Simms. My proposition is this. I will transfer to you the 
majority stock of the Universal Electric Company for three 
times what it cost, in cash — and your daughter's hand in 
marriage. 

Ainsworth {laughing boisterously but affectedly). Ha, 
ha, ha ! Why, man, your price is fabulous. Besides, I'm 
not selling my daughter. 

Geraldine {coming down stage). Aren't you, dad ? I 
thought you'd begun negotiations with Count di Lucca. 

Ainsworth {angrily). Jerry, will you be quiet ? 

Geraldine {smiling). Don't get ruffled, dad. 

Ainsworth. Ruffled? You'd try the patience of Job. 
{Addressing Simms.) Now, Mr. Simms, this proposition of 
yours is ridiculous. I couldn't afford to pay half what you 
ask, and as for Jerry 

Geraldine. I'll take care of myself, thank you. All 
we want is your — er — blessing. 



WON BY WIRELESS 4I 

AiNSWORTH. H'm ! Looks to me as though this lover 
of yours wanted a penny or two besides, 

SiMMS. Mr. Ainsworth, let us cease this game of cross- 
purposes. Jerry and I understand each other perfectly. 
We've weighed the pros and cons; we've decided just how 
important your consent is to us, and just what we're willing 
to pay for it. You know, and so do I, that the stock I hold 
is worth at least five times what Jerry bought it for, and 
you're the only man on top of this round globe who could 
purchase it at any price. You've heard my proposition, sir. 
You can take it or leave it. 

Ainsworth. By the eternal Jupiter ! I 

SiMMS (ijuietly). Raging and blustering won't help 
matters. 

Ainsworth. Well, I'll be ! 

Geraldine. Tut, tut, dad ! You're in the presence of 
a lady. 

Ainsworth, Well, I'd never suspect it. Why, of all 
the highway robberies ! 

Geraldine (imitating hmswOKin's man Jier in Act I'). 
H'm ! "Nobody knows just how valuable the stock is ex- 
cept myself. Yes — I guess I'd pay a pretty good price for 
it if I had to." 

Ainsworth, Great heavens ! That a daughter of mine 
should deliberately betray my confidence ! 

Geraldine. Remember, dad, that you and I wouldn't 
be here if the monkeys had observed a code of ethics. 

Ainsworth. Ethics! O slush! {To Simms.) Well, 
Mr. Simms, I'll be generous. I'll give you twice 

Simms. My dear sir, do I look like a man who says one 
thing and means another? I've already told you that my 
only reason for making you an offer at all is because I want 
your consent to ray marriage with Jerry. I'm going to marry 
her anyway, but I'm willing to lose a few thousand dollars 
for the sake of gratifying a sentiment. 

Ainsworth. So this is sentiment, eh ? 

Simms. No, it's business, and I don't propose to haggle 
any longer. If you want the stock on the terms I have men- 
tioned, say so. 

Ainsworth {snappishly). Well, I don't. 

Simms {decisively). Very well. We'll call negotiations 
ended. {Starts again toward doorway.') 

Ainsworth {shouting). Here, here ! Come back I 



42 WON BY WIRELESS 

(SiMMS returns.^ Jerry, just as soon as we reach dry land, 
find a parson and marry this fellow. 

Geraldine {with excitement^. Dad, dad ! Do you 
really mean it? 

AiNSWORTH. I certainly do. Shylock was satisfied with 
a pound of flesh. This chap wants a full-grown woman — 
and a fortune. Don't let him escape. I need him in my 
business. 

{Enter Lady Caroline and Count, stairway l. Their 
entrance is unnoticed by Geraldine and Ainsworth.) 

Geraldine {affectionately'). Dear, dear dad ! But what 
about Count di Lucca ? 

Ainsworth. Oh, the Count will find solace in his noble 
ancestry. 

Count. Ah, do you hear that, Lady Caroline ? 

Lady Caroline {coming forward). Indeed I do. 
Father, what does this mean ? 

Geraldine. Cheer up, Carrie ! It means that dad has 
at last consented. 

Lady Caroline {haughtily'). . Consented to what, pray? 

Geraldine. To my marriage with Jack. 

Lady Caroline {as though shocked'). Heavens ! How 
plebeian I Count, I apologize for my family. They're 
hopelessly American, I fe-ar. 

Kitty {outside). No, I shall always call you "Captain." 
{Enters, stairivay R. , and pauses on landing, looking up 
stairway.) I couldn't say "Robert," or — "Bobby," or — 
"Bob." 

Robert {outside). Ah, but you have said it. 

Kitty. I haven't. 

Robert {entering, stairway r.). You have. 

Kitty {turning toward front). I {Sees the others.) 

Oh, I beg your pardon ! {Comes forward.) 

Geraldine. It's all right, Kitty. You're just in time to 
congratulate us. Dad has relented, and Jack and I are going 
to be married. 

JR.OBERT {coming forward). So are we ; aren't we, 
Kitty ? 

Kitty. Oh, Miss Jerry, I'm so glad ! How did it 
happen ? 

Geraldine, Well, it didn't exactly happen — of itself, I 
mean. {Glances at Ainsworth, mischievously.) The fit- 



WON BY WIRELESS 43 

test doesn't survive, you know, without a struggle. {Glee- 
fully?) Tell them about it, dad. 

AiNSWORTH. Well, you see, I thought my brokers 
couldn't get along in my absence without an occasional word 
of advice, so I had the yacht equipped with this Marconi 
abomination, and, egad! it's been my undoing; for of all 
the gossiping, meddlesome contrivances ! 

Geraldine. Oh, dad, what sacrilege ! It's the grand- 
est, most wonderful invention in the world — isn't it, Jack? 

SiMMs (smiling). You could hardly expect me to think 
otherwise. 

AiNSWORTH. H'm ! You're prejudiced. 

SiMMS. Perhaps I am. At any rate, I shall never forget 
that the girl I love was won by wireless. 

(Geraldine is c, with Simms on her right, <?«^Ainsworth 
on her left. Lady Caroline and Count are at extreme 
R., but further up stage. Kitty and Robert occupy 
similar positions at extreme l.) 



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